


A Slip Of Paper

by Christian_the_bluefrog



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Chick flick moment, Cute, Dating, Dom Castiel, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-09 21:28:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 16,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14723907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christian_the_bluefrog/pseuds/Christian_the_bluefrog
Summary: Sam has convinced Dean to write down his feelings on a piece of paper, just to help him work through them. But when a certain trickster gets his hands on it before it’s destroyed who knows what could happen.





	1. Dean

  
_He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. Not in the way I’d expected it; not by a long shot. And I’m to chicken shit scared to even try and tell him. Every time I look into those sapphire eyes, I tell myself that I have to tell him now. But I never do. I’ll admit I steal glances as often as I can. I can never get tired of looking at the beauty of him; from his after-sex messy hair to his surprising perfect toes. (And I only know because I saw him bear foot in the bunker that one time.)_

_I hold those stolen glances for longer then I should. If Cas were human, if he understood body language and flirting, which I will also admit to, I’m sure he’d have figured it out already._

_Maybe I want him to figure it out. I’m almost positive that Sam knows. Sometimes I wonder, even if he did figure it out, would I be able to admit it to him; or would I deny my potential happiness because I’m too much of a **man** to admit I’m in love with Cas._

_It’s not like he loves me back. Sure, he feels emotions. Anyone can see how far he’s come from our first meeting in that barn to sitting here in the bunker; but he’s an angel. Every now and then I can’t help but to remind myself about the angels who have fallen in love. I give myself false hope. Cas could love someone, just not me._

Cas knocked on my open bedroom door. I jumped at first but composed myself, nodding my head towards the bed. I tried my best to act naturally as I use my arm to cover the slip of paper I was writing on. He sat on the bed quietly.

I knew this chick flick writing bull shit was a bad idea. Sam has been on my ass, I’m “mopping around like a sad puppy.” He said, if I’m not going to let him help I should write it down; even if I throw it away right after. I was actually going to burn it. You can un-crumble paper, you can tape pieces back, but you can’t read ash.

“Dean,” I had been looking at the floor until his deep gravely voice pulled my eyes to meet his. Damn, how do they get deeper every time I look at them.

“Yeah, something you need Cas?”

“Do you ever wish you could date?” I blinked a few times chewing the question mentality. This could end very badly.

“Yeah, I guess. But I’m a hunter Cas. Being single is in the job description.”

“Yes, but I’ve been thinking.” So far so good I thought to myself.

“And?” I coax him.

“You say hunters can’t get attached, but I’ve noticed that you are attached to Sam, Bobby, and several friends.”

“That’s different Cas.” Was he seriously going to make me tell him this.

“Why?”

“Because they can take care of themselves; they can fight.” I sigh.

“So if you found someone who could fight, who could take care of themselves, would you consider dating then?”

“I dont know, Cas, maybe?” He was twisting a knife in my heart, that he didn’t even know was there.

“There is a reason I’m asking, Dean.” Shit! Shit! Shit!

“Ok.” It was all I could manage. My heart stopped.

“Gabriel was talking to me about asking Sam to go out with him.” I breathed out a sigh of relief and almost started crying at the same time.

“I know he’s been around more often, but I had no idea that was why.” The shock of the idea of Gabriel dating my brother hit me.

“Did Sam say anything to make Gabe think he’s into dudes?” I added.

“I don’t know specifics, but the way Gabriel speaks about there time together, I would say he’s almost certain he is.” At that point a flap of wings could be heard and Gabe popped up beside Cas on the bed.

“Haya Dean-o! I would most certainly say he is.” Gabe chimed in.

“So what? You want my blessing or something?” I was annoyed, and still focused on hiding the paper I needed to destroy.

“Don’t really need it, and I didn’t send Cassie here to ask your opinion. Not that I’m upset at the little guy-“ He trailed of noticing the odd angle of my arm. He snapped his fingers and my paper was in his hand.

“Give that back!” But before I had finished he had flown away.


	2. Sam

I was showering when I heard the sound of angel wings. 

“Sammy boy! You won’t believe what I just found!” He shouted right outside the shower curtain. 

“This couldn’t have waited five minutes?” I started washing the conditioner out of my hair. Why does it seem ever time he pops in, I’m either nude or in a very uncomfortable setting. 

“Nope! But it’s worth it, trust me.” I sighed, if there anything I’ve learned about Gabriel, it’s that he’s persistent. Which isn’t a bad thing, unless I happen to be naked at the time. 

“Hand me my towel.” 

“Too shy to come out Samsquatch?” I was thankful there was a shower curtain between us, so he didnt see my cheeks light up red. I wasn’t sure if he knew I had a crush on him or if he was just being himself. Either way I wasn’t coming out without a towel. 

“Towel, please.” I stuck my hand out the side. 

“Fine; but I’ll do you one better.” I heard a snap and the next thing I know I’m dried, fully dressed in pajamas I had never seen before, and sitting on my bed next to Gabriel. 

“I guess that works too.” He gave me a sly grin and a wink.

“Now, read.” I took the slip of paper and started skimming over Dean’s handwriting.

”Where did you get this?” I asked after finishing it. The sound of a door slamming interrupted the conversation.

“You don’t know anything about this.” Gabe whispered as Dean threw the door open. 

“I knew he’d come running to you. Now give it back.” Cas was close behind Dean, hand on his shoulder.

”Give what back Dean-o?” He put on an innocent face. Dean marched up to Gabe and grabbed at his hands, which were empty.

”Buy a guy a drink first, would ya?” Gabe laughed. Dean turned to me.

”Where is it?” I hadn’t decided what side to take yet, Dean is my brother and this is a gross misuse of the trust he had for me; but I have a secret crush on Gabriel and it’s about damn time Dean stops those longing looks and just tells Cas he’s madly in love with him.

”Where is what Dean?” I had chosen my side, no going back now.

”Sam if you’re playing me, so help me I’ll-“ Gabe stopped him.

”The kid says he doesn’t know; he doesn’t know.” 

“Fine; but you know exactly what I’m talking about. Now give it back before I get an angel blade and stab your ass.” 

“Dean.” Cas’ low voice was stern. “We just got Gabriel back, this is hardly the time for jokes like that.” The fire left Dean’s eyes. 

“If it means that much to you Dean-o.” He pulled an identical sip of paper out of thin are and set it ablaze with a snap. The ash crumbled onto the floor. “Better?”

“If you ever tell anyone what you read-”

”I know, I know, you’ll stab my ass. Now you two crazy kids run along. My moose and I have some catching up to do.” He stood pushing them both out the door. 

“Where’s the real paper Gabe?” I asked. He reached up and pulled the slip from behind my ear, like a cheesy magic trick. 

“So judging from the act, I assume your in?” He smiled. 

“How could I say no to you?”

”Good point.” He held it up for both of us to read again.

“I take it you have a plan?”

”Well that’s what I need you for Sammy. Most of my plans would be too harsh for your taste, so I’m here. I need a moose approved scheme, ya know ‘cuz now that we’re getting along so well, I don’t want to hurt our friendship.” I could hear the sincerity in his voice. I actually meant something to him. 

“Thank you.” He smiled, but it was a different smile. Not the I’m up to something, or the flirty messing with you smile, this was a new sweet, genuine smile. It looked good on him.

”So are we aiming for obvious or settle?” He asked. 

“He’d get annoyed at obvious, it’ll have to be settle. If we back him into a corner he’ll fight back, no chance it’ll work.” 

“Okay, next question: do we let Cassie in on it?” 

“No, it’s not our place to tell him.” He frowned for just a second before perking back up. 

“What if Cas were to help us without knowing he was helping us?” 

“I like it, go on.”

 

~ <3 ~

 

Just before nine P.M. I found Cas reading in the war room, several books stacked next to him. 

“Planning on reading all of those tonight?” He looked up at me, I could see him shifting gears between reading and starting a conversation. 

“When you don’t sleep you have to find different ways to pass the time.” He informed. 

“I know angels don’t need to sleep, but can you?” 

“If we want to, then yes. We don’t dream though.” He shut the book turning his attention to our conversation. 

“So I was thinking, we don’t hang out enough, Cas.” It wasn’t a lie, and ulterior motives aside, it would be nice to spend some time with Cas. 

“We don’t spend a lot of time together, do we?” He smiled. 

“Since we are taking a week off, maybe we could have some fun. What do you say we go get you some new clothes tomorrow?” 

“I don’t need new clothes.” 

“That’s not the point though, the point is to have fun. Just hanging out.” He nodded. 

“Alright Sam, tomorrow then?” 

“Tomorrow it is.” I stood up and went back to my room. Gabriel was laying on my bed in a sexy pose head resting in his hand. 

“How’d it go.” He said in a sing-song tone. 

“Phase one complete.” I grinned. This was more fun then I thought it’d be. He jumped up and strolled over until he was about a foot away. If he were anyone else I would’ve said something about personal space. 

“You got this Sammy.” Then with a flutter of wings and he was gone.


	3. Cas

I was pleasantly surprised when Sam asked me to spend the day with him tomorrow. Although we do spend time together, most of it involves Dean; and I get very easily distracted by Dean. So the thought of spending the day with Sam was very nice.

I set my book aside to allow my thoughts to wonder. It’s the closet thing to dreaming and my new favorite pastime. Mostly my mind wanders to thoughts of Dean. I enjoy thinking over my memories of us. There are several that always seem to find there way back when I day dream, as I’ve started to call it. I remember when I first suspected that Dean cared for me as more then a friend. 

‘I’d rather have you, cursed or not.’ He’d said. I hear that line over and over in his voice. I close my eyes and I can see his face, his eyes. I remember smiling and being filled with joy, by his words. 

I remember sad memories too. Once I start day dreaming it’s often difficult to control where I go. When Amara needed to be stopped, and Dean was the only way. I pulled him into what I thought would be our last hug; it took all the strength I had to let him leave my arms. I wanted to go with him. The only thing I could offer him was my company, hoping that it’d bring some comfort. I didn’t want him to do that alone. I shook the thought from my mind trying to find other happier moments. 

Unfortunately the next memory wasn’t any better. I found myself back in Purgatory, squatting by the river; the way Dean’s face lit up when our eyes met. He pulled me into a hug, even after everything I had put him through. Our friendship had withstood my unforgivable actions regarding the leviathans. He told me we were getting out of there and I knew I couldn’t leave. I let him believe that I was coming, hoping to keep his spirits up, give him some hope for a short period of time. His face when he realized that I couldn’t come with him is burned forever into my mind. 

I recall the time I was struck with the Lance of Michael. I was dying, and saying my goodbyes. I tried to admit my feelings for Dean; I looked him in the eyes and said ‘I love you’ but I couldn’t leave it like that. It would hurt too much if he actually knew what I meant. So I added, ‘I love all of you.’ When Dean told me he wasn’t leaving I was devastated; I couldn’t watch him die. 

The next memory took over, I held an angel blade in my hand. Hannah had just told me to choose; Dean or the angels. I looked at Dean, who was held tightly in the grip of my brothers and sisters; the slightest tinge of fear in his eyes. I looked between them, I was torn, but in the end, it was Dean. It will always be Dean. 

“Cas, hey buddy. You alright?” Sam woke me from my thoughts. 

“Yes.” I looked at the clock. It was mid morning, time to enjoy some time with Sam. I stood as Sam grabbed the keys to my ‘Pimp-mobile.’ 

“Mind if I drive?” I shook my head standing. 

 

Sam drove us to a near by mall. I didn’t pay much attention to the store we went in, because Sam and I were discussing my new ‘look.’ 

“Let’s start with the basics.” He lead me to a rack of jeans. He started to sort through them asking me what I thought about each pair. We ended up picking three that I took to the dressing room. 

“Are you sure these are the right size?” I called over the door. 

“Yeah, they’re the right size.” He called back. I finished bucking them and opened the door. Looking in the mirror I decided that I like them. They were dark blue, comfortable enough, now that they were on, and if I’m being honest, they really showed of my butt. 

“Nice, you like them?” 

“I do, I’m starting to see why clothes shopping can be fun.” 

After almost two hours of picking out and trying on clothes, we sat down for lunch at the food court. I didn’t eat but it was nice talking to Sam while he enjoyed a salad. There were three bags sitting under the table, one included my trench coat and old outfit. I liked one outfit so much I decided to wear it out. It was the first blue pair of jeans, a black tight fitting Metallica T-shirt, and a jacket similar to one I knew Dean had. 

It was just after three when we arrived back at the bunker. Gabriel was following Dean back from the kitchen. 

“-all I’m saying is that if your brave enough to fuck a bear you at least gota finish the job before he eats you.” We walked in on the tail end of a conversation. Dean looked mortified. 

“Where have you two been?” He asked harshly. Probably because he was frustrated with Gabriel; they don’t get along well. By that I mean Gabriel annoys Dean on purpose to get a reaction out of him. He doesn’t mean any harm, it’s just how my brother has always been. 

“Shopping.” Sam walked past Gabriel patting his back. I noticed that he left his hand there for a few seconds; maybe Gabriel was right about Sam having feelings for him. Judging by Sam’s face I’m almost certain. 

“We went to get me some new clothes.” I turned to show off my new favorite outfit. Dean was silent for a moment and the nodded approvingly. 

“I’ve got something to take care of in my room.” He left in a bit of a hurry. Gabriel turned to join Sam in the kitchen and I followed. They were high-fiveing as I came in. 

“You weren’t too hard on Dean today.” It was more of a question then statement. 

“ ‘Corse not Cassie. You know the princess and I get along swell.” Gabriel’s fondness of nicknames was something I enjoyed; even if some of them were a bit offensive. I nodded, getting the feeling that they needed to talk alone. 

“I think I’ll go put my new clothes away. Thank you Sam, I really enjoyed our time together today.” 

“Me too, Cas.”


	4. Gabe

I heard Sam and my bro enter the bunker, so I started telling Dean, what I consider, a funny story; hoping Sam would here at least the end bit. I like making my moose laugh. He’s cute when he laughs. Sam went to the kitchen and patted my back, sending a sweet shock down my spine. That feeling had been happening more and more lately; and I couldn’t get enough. I joined Sam in the kitchen followed by Cas who only stayed for a minute. 

“How’d it go?” I asked. 

“Fairly well. Did you see Dean’s face?” 

“Oh did I, and I don’t think he was just thinking about the new clothes. Especially with the way he ran to his room to ‘take care of something.’”

“Gross Gabe! It’s one thing to get them together, but I do not want to hear about Dean’s... umm... private time.” I like when Sam called me that. Nicknames are something I love. 

“Duly noted Samsquatch.” That made him smile. I’m trying to figure out which nicknames he likes best. That one normally gets a good reaction. 

“So have you been annoying Dean all day?” He was still smiling and my heart was melting. 

“Not all day, I gave him an half an hour break for lunch.” Sam chuckled as I spoke. 

“Well, I’ve got some stuff I need to catch up on.” He sighed. I huffed out a breath in a pouty manner, hoping he’d invite me along. He just rolled his eyes. 

“Fine, but just pray if you need me, or wanta talk.” I added that last bit without realizing it, but it sounded nice. Sam’s making me go soft, which isn’t s bad thing. I’ve been alone for a while now, centuries even. It’s nice to think I have someone who actually enjoys my company. 

“Will do Gabe.” I snapped my fingers and retreated to my own private paradise. I’d taken up residence in a room in the bunker; one no one goes near. In fact no one even visits this corner of the place. There’s a lot of unused space. It was built to house quite a lot of people; or so I’m told. 

Of course there’s no way I’d leave it the way it was; much too plain for my taste. I’d turned it into a cabin, complete with a view of a pine forest in winter. I snapped a fire into the hearth and plopped into my recliner; kicking my feet up. I had checked in on Cas last night and found him in a trance of memories. It was an interesting idea. I cleaned my mind; wanting to give it a go myself. 

Best to start in order, I started to replay the first time I met those chuckle-heads. I was playing dress up as a janitor. All was well, I was pulling all the tricks a trickster could want, and then hunters pulled into town. I knew I was going to like Sam from the moment we had our first conversation. He seemed like someone I could really have fun with, in a non sexual pranking way of course, or a sexual way evenly. I play for both teams; but they were there to ruin my fun. So, they had to go. It took no effort to get them of my back and that was that. 

My mind shifted setting and the next memory popped up. I thought about Sam one day after pulling a trick that reminded me of him, and decided to check up on the moose. I noticed a pattern after a while. The boys couldn’t live without each other. I had to help Sam or Dean would be the death of him. Looking back, my method was way out of line; but I was a different person then. Even a trickster, or archangel can change. 

Sam still hadn’t learned his lesson after he caught on at the Mystery Spot I set up for him. So I took Dean-o off the board for good. The lesson still didn’t stick, and seeing Sam in that state was killing me. I let him catch up to me. Helped him just a bit even. I thought if I explained the whole point of this, maybe he’d get it. But those puppy dog eyes got the best of me. I almost cried. I had hurt him so much. I had never felt that much regret in my life. So, I gave Dean back; but I still checked in on then every now and again. 

The memories seemed to be coming in chronological order, which was odd because Cassie’s bounced around; but what do I know about angelic day dreaming. Once I figured out that the brothers were my brothers vessels, I was a little heart broken. I had gotten rather attached to Sam; but this was the end and I just wanted it over with. Thus TV land was created; I had a lot of fun building that one. I had hoped this lesson would stick, but those boys were hard headed. I should had learned that from the first time around, but hey, an archangels gotta try. I never expected they would figure me out; but there I was in a ring of holy fire. 

The hotel flashed into view. I really didn’t want to relive this one. I helped the boys as best I could; I got the blood back. I gave them my special DVD, because I finally had the courage to stand up to my brother. Dad was right, humanity was better, it was worth saving. I tried my hardest to kill Lucy, but I couldn’t, I still don’t know if I wasn’t powerful enough, or if I gave him the advantage by hesitating, because he is my brother after all. When I realized I couldn’t win I knew I had to pull the biggest trick of all; faking my death in front of Lucifer. It had to be perfect and it was. I swore I wouldn’t get involved with the Winchester brothers again after that.

But the memories didn’t stop there. After the whole mess with Metatron tricking Cas and the angels falling I started to get a little worried, and the worry only grew. I had to step in, but not with the boys. I made an appearance with Cassie. He needed motivation, but, and I hate to admit this, I had lost my attention for detail. Not making mischief for a while made me a little stiff. 

After the Heaven crisis had ended I decided that I wanted to see Sam again; despite the promise I had made myself. So I started leaving clues. If I popped in right away it’d be over to quick, and where’s the fun in that. 

I started leaving Sam’s favorite candy bars in odd places. I changed a few advertisement signs to Casa Erotica posters, always changing them back before Sam got a good look at them. Then it was time for something bigger. I started to follow him, but the second he’d see me I’d poof. It was fun the first few times, until I realized that he actually missed me. I was causing him heart ache, so the next night I decided that it was time. 

Of course I couldn’t just appear to Sam. Can’t give my preference of the brothers away too soon. So I popped in for dinner at the bunker. 

“I brought dessert!” There was a bullet hole in my cake within seconds. 

“If you don’t like lemon all you had to do was say so. I guess I’ll just make another one.” I said as I snapped a new cake up, red velvet this time. 

“The hell are you doing here; you’re supposed be dead.” Dean shouted. I looked my self over after placing the cake down. 

“Well, would ya look at that. I’m still kicking.” I smiled enjoying myself. Sam walked over and gave me a soft, quick hug. 

“Welcome back.” His voice was gentle, soothing. I didn’t realize he’d be so happy to see me. 

“So are we going to get an explanation or do I have to shoot you again?” I laughed before taking a seat. I gestured for the boys to sit down as well. After everyone was seated I told them everything. 

“Well why did you come back?” Sam asked. 

“‘Cause I missed ya kid; Dean-o I missed less but hey, it’s still good to see ya.” It was the honest truth, the first part anyway. 

A prayer from Sam pulled me from my thoughts and I flew away as fast as my wings would carry me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place before season 13, so the memories aren’t cannon.


	5. Sam

The plan was going well, but we still had a job to do; if we could find one. Strange deaths hadn’t been happening, nothing was coming up on the weird-ometerit, it almost felt like a vacation. I left Gabe in the kitchen to go sit in my room and look for cases. As I was browsing the web my mind started to drift. 

Lookzing back, I should hate Gabriel. He made me suffer in ways I didn’t know I could. I did hated him; he was one of the top three on my least favorite list. The hotel; that’s when it started to change. Him helping us; willing to die for us. I thought he had died so we could go on trying to fix the mess that had landed in our lap. 

I went back that night, to the hotel. We had gotten a new motel room, making sure it was crappy enough enough to be real; but I couldn’t sleep. I was thinking of Gabe, how we left him there. Sure he was a dick, but so were a lot of people we’re now friends with. I needed to bury him, so I went back. I spent a good amount of time looking at the shadow of his wings. I found myself tracing their outline. They were beautiful, and gone, like him. 

When I could bring myself to do it, I picked up his vessel’s body. I didn’t want to give him a hunter’s funeral. I wanted to believe that one day he’d need it again. I doubt that was Gabriel’s real vessel I buried. But at the time it meant something to me. 

I didn’t know why but a few times a month Gabe wiggled his way into my mind; maybe it was me or maybe he was making me think of him somehow. Either way I spent a decent amount of time thinking on the events and roles he’d played in our lives. In time I started to forgive him. Between my brother and I, I’d like to think that I deal with emotions a little bit better then Dean. On some level, it was therapeutic to forgive Gabe. He was gone, but always on my mind. If I was going to let him go, it’d make since to forgive him and make peace with it. So I did. 

When Gabe finally decided to share the news that he was still alive I wanted to beat his feathery ass; but that thought was quickly replaced with joy and excitement. He was back; but he didn’t stay long. If we needed help sometimes he’d show, most of the time he didn’t. In fact he mostly came to visit during our down time, like right now. He’d show up for a day of two, mostly hanging out with me, because Dean wasn’t having any of his shit. It was funny though, as long as it didn’t go too far; and when it did I put a stop to it. Surprisingly, he’d actually listened to me when I asked him to cool it. 

After a while his visits started to become normal. I even looked forward to them. We’d watch movies, talk, and even just sit in the same room doing our own thing. We just enjoyed each other’s company. I can’t pinpoint an exact moment when I realized I might like Gabe more then a friend. He just grew on me. His jokes, at least the tamer ones, were funny. We share a lot of interests and he’s actually pretty smart. We found ourselves talking often about things I hadn’t talked about since college. 

It hadn’t scared me that I was falling for a guy. He wasn’t the first, I wouldn’t have dreamed of telling my father when I first figured out I was bi-sexual; and there was no need to bring it up to anyone else. Let sleeping dogs lie and all that. I find myself more attracted to someone’s mind more then there body; not that I didn’t enjoy Gabe’s physical form. He’s short, and I know everyone’s short compared to me, but the height difference is cute. I dont know why I like it but I do. His whisky-honey eyes stir something up in me too. He has a kind face, when he’s being sincere. I just enjoy everything about him. 

I realized that I hadn’t been reading what I was scrolling through. We hadn’t had a case in two days, and sure, it’s nice to take a break, but a hunter’s got to hunt. After a few days things get restless, cabin fever sets in, it’s just not fun. After a few hours of nothing, my eyes started getting sore from starting at a screen. I put my laptop down and got up to get a shower when I saw Dean headed my way. 

“Hey Sammy.” 

“Hey.” I tried to walk past him. 

“You got a second?” I really wanted to relax, even on a day off I can get tired early. 

“Sure, what’s up?”

“I dont know, it just kinda funny that you took Cas clothes shopping. I mean he’s an angel, he doesn’t need clothes.” I nodded, this was definitely our plan in action. 

“Not really no, but I figured we had some down time and I don’t really hang out with Cas enough. He’s always spending time with you, strengthening your ‘profound bond’. So I stole him for a day. We went out and had some fun.” I wanted to make it seem like it was just another day, something to just shrug off. 

“Yeah, okay.” He nodded. 

“Is something wrong with the new clothes?” 

“What? No, no; the’re fan-freaking-tastic.” I could tell that came out a different way then he intended it to. He turned to the side and nodded. I could tell he started blushing. Yes!

After my shower I came back and prayed to Gabe. 

“Hey, phase one worked like a charm. We should plan phase two.” Before I had even finished he was in front of me. 

“Sammy boy.” He smiled. I told him about my interaction with Dean in the hall and his smile grew as the story went. 

“Have you given any thought about what to do next?” I asked. 

“I’m glad you asked, kiddo. I was thinking of kicking it up a notch. I’m talking huge. I’m going to make a fake case, build the whole town, people included-“ I stopped him there. 

“Are you insane? After what you did to us at the Mystery Spot.” His smile faded and he sat down, patting the spot on the bed next to him. I sat, unsure if I wanted to hear what he had to say next; unsure if I could handle it. 

“Sam, I never did apologize for that.” His hand moved an inch, like he was going to take and hold mine but he pulled back. 

“I never should have done that. I could have found an easier way to try and teach you that lesson. I was cruel. There’s no excuse for it. All I can do is apologize, and hope my actions have proven I’m a different person now.” I reached out to take his hand, it was soft and smooth. It fel good in mine.

“I do see that you’ve changed, and truth be told I’d already forgiven you; but you bringing something like this up, it’s like cutting open the scar tissue.” I let his hand go, trying not to make things awkward. 

“If you don’t like what I have planned, we can find something else, but would you at least let me explain what I had in mind?” 

“Alright, explain away.” 

“ I’ve designed a plot, a creature, everything we need to get them to open up. There won’t be any real danger. I’ve even gone to the trouble to make sure there won’t even be physical fighting involved.” He paused looking at me, trying to gage my reaction. I nodded for him to continue. 

“It honestly won’t even be that scary. I’ll walk you through everything, every step. You don’t like something, we’ll change it. You’re the artist and I’m the brush. I’ve even talk full responsibility for the whole thing. Dean is going to be pissed for a while, but Cassie will get him to cool down. Then it’ll be wedding bells and happily ever after.” This was starting to sound doable. 

“You don’t have to take all the blame; besides I want some of the credit for making it happen. It’s not like I haven’t tried to get them together before, when it works I want to be part of it.” He jumped up and pulled me into a hug. 

“This is going to be fun!” He pulled me away holding me by the shoulders. 

“It might just be; but first we need to go over everything, every last detail.” 

“You got it Samsquatch!”


	6. Dean

It was getting late maybe 11:00 p.m. when Sam knocked on my door.

"Caught a case." He pulled up a chair, I took the laptop and started to read.

"Arrow Rock, Missouri; five people went missing all found a few days later, but get this, they're alive but they're gone."

"Gone like no soul gone?"

"No, like vegetative state, awareness gone. A coma with your eyes open, gone."

"That is definitely our type of weird." I said. 

"We'll head out in the morning. Lets bring Cas in on this one, something new like this, we could use his help."

~<3~

Sam's riding shotgun and I can't keep my eyes off the rear view mirror. Cas' eyes were dead center in it. I don't remember moving it, but honestly I didn't feel like moving it back. It was a little after 7:00 p.m. when we arrived, so we found the nearest motel to crash. I got out to book us the room.

"Hey kid-o!" It was Gabriel. 

"What are you doing here?" I tried to keep the anger out of my voice. Cas put a hand on my shoulder to calm me. 

"Thought I'd pop in, see how things are. Looks like you caught a case. Mind if I join?" Sam answered before I could say no. 

"Sure." I know that they'd been getting closer and hey, maybe they did like each other, but this is a hunt. Gabriel doesn't go on hunts, hell, we've prayed when we'd needed help on hunts and the bastard didn't show. Something about this screams altieater motive. 

"Fine, but I'm not sharing a room with you." I huffed.

"I'll bunk with Sammy. If that's alright?" Sam nodded. I was done with this conversation. 

After Cas and I got in our room I started researching the case. There were five victims; Sally Kine, Mike Gulbran, Jim Lake, Josh Greene, and Bobbi Ford. There wasn't much detail in the paper, and I was starting to get tired. 

"Hey Cas." I laid down. 

"Yes Dean?" His voice made me shiver. 

"How much do you know about Sam and Gabriel?" 

"They have been spending a good amount of time together. Sam seems to be a good influence on him."

"How's that?" I plugged my phone in and set an alarm. 

"He's stopped annoying you as much-"

"No, he anoyes my pleanty." I interrupted. 

"There are visits when he doesn't even speak with you." That was news to me. I raised my eyebrow in question.

"I'd say one in three visits does he even say hello. Also if Sam sees that he's pushed you too far he tells him to back off, and Gabriel listens." This had my attention. 

"You're saying that Sam has changed him?" 

"To some extent, he's still Gabriel though." 

"Do you actually think there's something between them?" I settled in. 

"To be honest I'm not sure. I can read Gabriel better then Sam, and Gabriel is being honest about his feelings. This isn't just a scheme to annoy you." 

"Thanks for the talk Cas." He nodded, and I feel asleep. 

 

~<3~

 

"So what can you tell us about the case?" Sam asked sheriff Hank. Gabriel had flown off somewhere last night, which is find by me. Cas, Sam and I were on the job. 

"Well Jim and Josh are local boys, born and raised. We've got a pattern, it looks like all the victims were around the old jail before they went missing. The're gone for three days and then someone finds them laying on the ground, they don't talk, eat, or even look at ya." 

"Anything special about the jail?" I ask. 

"It's a tourist attraction mostly. Has its own preservation sight in the forest." 

"Alright, we'll be in touch. Don't hesitate to call if something comes up." Sam handed him a card and we headed back to the car. I started her up and we drove to the hospital. 

 

~<3~

 

"Well, I've honestly never seen anything like it. Best I can tell is it's a case of extreme shock. Only the brain function doesn't indicate shock." The head doctor said. 

"What do you mean?" Sam asked. 

"There's almost no brain activity. People in shock have normal activity, in truth they shouldn't even be conscious." 

"May we talk to them?" Cas spoke up. He mostly leaves the talking up to us, but as he gains experience he's been speaking up more.

"You can try. Four of them have family by their side, they would probably be more helpful." 

"Thank you." She nodded and turned her attention elsewhere. 

We split up to interview the victims and family members. I walked into Bobbi Ford's room and found a woman at her bed side. I pulled out my badge. 

"I'm agent Ackles, I was hoping to talk with you about, " I paused hoping she would fill me in on their relationship. 

"My wife." She nodded. 

"What can you tell me." I pulled out my note pad. 

"We were passing through, on our way to my mother's house. We're were both tired so we went a little off track to Arrow Rock to spend the night. Bobbi saw a poster for the jail sight and had to go. She's a history buff. We went to check it out. I left to go to the bathroom and when I came back she was gone. I looked every where, called the police, there were search parties. Then she shows up like this." She turned her head to look at her wife. 

"Has she made and progress, or changed at all?" 

"No." 

"What time was it when she went missing?

"A little after two." I had seen Bobbi when I walked in, but hadn't really looked at her. I leaned in to get a better look. Her eyes were fixed on a point in the wall, unblinking. She was limp, and still. 

"She doesn't eat, won't look at anything. It's like she's not even here." She started to tear up. I thanked her, gave her my card and left. Sam and Cas came out soon a after. We compared stories and they all matched. 

"How about we grab some lunch and then head out to the jail?" Sam asked. 

"Sounds good."

 

~<3~

 

We pulled up to Mary's Home Cooking and Gabriel flew in behind Sam. He had to stand on his tip toes, but he was able to reach and cover Sam's eyes. 

"Guess who?' Sam chuckled and playfully elbowed him in the ribs. He let go and turned his attention to me. 

"So how's goes the hunting?" 

"Fine." I walk past him and get us a booth. Cas took the seat next to me on the red leather, and Sam sat across from me, Gabriel by his side. The dinner had a black, white, and red checkered pattern. 

"Anything interesting?" He asked to no one in particular. 

"I believe so. I've never heard of anything that can do this." Cas answered. Gabriel nodded. The waitress came and took our orders, her white uniform looked dated. Everything about this town seemed old. Sam ordered his rabbit food, I ordered the greasiest burger on the menu, and Gabriel decided to get a plate of cheese fries. 

"Lunch is on me today boys." Gabriel informed. He and Sam started a conversation that I didn't listen to. I zoned out, thinking about the case. We've been doing this a long time, but something feels off about this. Whatever this thing is, it doesn't just kill its victims, it turns them into a shell. Gives the family hope, only to have it yanked out from under them. 

My thoughts turned to Cas when acidentally bumped my leg under the table. He was wearing one of his new outfits. It was a light gray suit, probably bought for days when the badge comes out, like today. It was tight fitting in all the right places. When I first saw him after he changed, I had a minor issue that had to be taken care of. His new clothes looked too good on him, and I shouldn't be complaining, but lately I've been wanting him more and more. 

"Here you go boys." She started placing plates. I wasn't as hungry as I thought and only ate half my food. 

"Are you alright Dean?" I had zoned out again. I needed to get my head in the game. 

"I'm good Cas, let's get going." 

 

~<3~

 

The four of us had gathered in our room after checking out the old jail. There wasn't much out there, it was a one room building; old. No EMF or sulfur, not that we were expecting there to be. The only thing odd was a brown slime Sam found at the base of a few trees. It looked like mud at first, but the consistency was all wrong. 

"Think I've got something." Sam was sitting at a wooden table behind his laptop.

"Ever hear of an Edacem Affectum?" He asked. I stood up and went to check it out. 

"No." There were drawings of women, all with black hair and shining blue eyes. They all had the same marks on there hands; it looked like a dark blue crescent moon with three dots in the shape of a triangle inside of it.

"In English it's called an emotion eater. They feed off of human emotions, after capturing their victims. Apparently they are pretty rare. Most of then have a nest under ground, in secluded areas. They don't stay in one place long, feed once a month on about ten people." He kept skimming the page and I sat back down next to Cas. Gabriel was across from Sam, eyes locked on my brother's face. The whole idea of them, dating or being a couple, wasn't sitting well in my head. After all he had put us through, who he was, I just don't get it. 

"So the brown stuff we found was, excrement." He said slowly.

"So shit? I touched shit?" Gabriel burst out in laughter. I got up to wash my hands again. I had washed them after I messed with it the first time, but knowing what it was made them feel dirty again.

"It says they are best to hunt at dusk, before they retreat to their nest. You do not want to get scratched by them. It forms a connection. It can feed off you, a lot slower, so extra caution when we find it. To break the connection, you have to kill it, and for that we need a silver knife dipped in lambs blood. Simple enough." I heard Sam finish as I returned. 

"Alright, guess the hunt starts now."


	7. Gabe

Sam and I had just walked into our room. He put his things on the bed and pulled up a seat at the wooden table by the door. I brought the second chair over to sit next to him. 

"What you doin' Sammy?" He flipped open his laptop and opened up a word document. 

"Just checking some things. You did a really good job on the town, Gabe. I'd had a really vintage vibe to it." I rocked back in my chair. 

"Wish I could take credit for it, but this Arrow rock is based on the real deal." I leaned over to take a closer look at the screen and get a little closer to my moose. 

"Characters; check. Lore; check-" 

"Love birds together in their own room; check." I added with a wink. Sam turned to smile at me and I wanted to lean in and kiss him. We were less then six inches away, but I backed up. That's not how I want our story to go. I want it to be more romantic, Sam deserves more then a crappy motel room first kiss. 

"So how does time work in here?" He asked. 

"Excellent question Kid; right now I have it set up so everything that happens in here takes no time out there. I could change it, but I figured you'd like it best this way. So you don't miss any real cases." 

"That's very thoughtful of you." I stared into his hazle eyes when he spoke. I could get lost in them for days. 

"I'm really starting to enjoy this, and not just the case but I really enjoy hanging out with you. It's been a while since I've really looked forward to hanging out with someone like this." 

"Really? I thought you'd be sick of me by now." I wanted to say that I enjoyed our time together too, but my instincts to hide my feelings behind humor kicked in. My cocky attitude and flirty lines are just something I use to protect myself; but even the hardest candies can have a soft center. Sam had started to crack my mask, get me to open up, but part of me is still afraid to show him my vulnerable side. I think that's also why I'm stalling. I could start the next chapter in our story at any time, but even archangels are afraid of rejection. 

A while ago, maybe my second or third visit, I had really upset Sam by reading his thoughts. I promised him that I would never do it again, and that promise I've kept. If I read his mind just to find out how he reallt feels about me, and he found out, I'd have ruined any chance for us, and I don't even want to imagine life without Sam. 

"So is everything set up for tomorrow?" He closed his laptop and stood up to stretch. 

"Yep." I went over and jumped on the bed. Literally.

"Seriously, Gabe?" He laughed. I stuck out my tongue.

"Yes, seriously; didn't you know the best thing about staying in a hotel is jumping on the bed?" He started to take off his jacket and over shirt. 

"You know strip teases are supposed to be slower than that." I purred. He turned to look at me with a smug grin on his face. 

"If I was giving you a strip tease you'd know it." I gulped and flipped over, snuggling under the covers. This! This is what gives me hope that he does like me.

"Looking forward to it big boy." He chuckled. Just another flirty line, same old Gabriel. If only he knew how much I meant it. 

"Night Gabe." He crawled into his own bed. 

"Night Samsquatch."

 

~<3~

 

The first stop for the day was the sheriff's office. Sam and I had agreed that it'd be if I show up just enough to seem normal and not enough to help with the case. I followed the love birds and my moose closely, watching my master piece at work. I'd set up a genetic enough office, a few extras running around and on the phone. Sheriff Hank was a piece of work though. Sam had helped me a lot with him. He had blue gray eyes and short blond hair, mid forties, and a southern accent. He gave them just enough info to keep them on track before rushing back to his work. 

I had put less amount of work into the hospital, but honestly all hospitals look the same don't they? It was easy enough giving everyone a back story, but it was hard to resist going overboard. Thankfully I have my moose ti help me with that. 

Of all the places I got to work on, Mary's Home Cooking was my favorite. The wait staff had matching uniforms, the checkered pattern was perfect, and the worn leather booths were just small enough that you had to sit close to the person next to you. I flew in once the car was parked. After a quick 'guess who' with Sam, Dean walked off, Cas close behind. I gave Sam a wink and we followed them in. I had my eyes on a chocolate cheese cake milkshake, but when Sam ordered a salad I knew I had to get cheese fries. They are his one weakness when it comes to junk food. 

"You're trying to fatten me up aren't you?" He said with a grin. 

"No, you're perfect the way you are." That came out exactly like I wanted it to, and I made him blush. Yes! If Dean and my bro weren't here, I'd see if he'd let me feed them to him. He had eaten about half the fries and I made sure to pick at them slowly so he could have as many as he wanted. 

The forrest and jail I hadn't messed with. Authenticity being the main goal. Keep it simple and believable. I had joined them for the car ride sitting in the back with Sam, which apparently surprised Dean. 

"Well, I'll take off, don't want to get in the way." I few off to watch from above. Dean found the brown slime first, he'd stepped in it and went to get it off his shoe before realizing it wasn't gum. Taking a closer look where he'd stepped he thought it was just mud, but realizing it wasn't he called the others over.

"Ever see anything like this." Taking their silence as an answer he squatted down to get a better look. I really wanted to send a gust of wind to make him topple head first into the pile, but though it better for me to just let them work.

Once they were back at the motel I joined them again. Sam had given a good amount of time before showing off his exlent acting skills. Though I might be a bit biased in my rating. I couldn't help but laugh when Dean made the comment about the brown goo. Sam gave me a short smile before reading the rest of the lore we'd come up with. 

I was looking forward to the next part, but slightly disappointed I would be against Sam's team; the next time they'd see me, I'd look like an emotion eater.


	8. Cas

After Sam had informed us about the emotion eater, I was slightly worried. In most hunts there is a lot of hand to hand combat; the likely hood of getting scratched was too high for my liking. Dean had become more annoyed with Gabriel as the day had gone on, and I was hoping that he wound leave before the hunt. 

"I'll go get the blood." Gabriel offered. 

"Thanks." Sam said searching a bag for silver knifes. With a flap of wings he took off. Dean sat at the table clearly distracted. Gabriel appeared behind Dean, startling him. 

"Who's ready to paint the town red?" He chuckled. Dean jumped up in frustration.

"Sam can you put a mussel on him or something." The smile faded from Gabriel's face. He set the bucket down.

"I'll just be going them; I know when I'm not wanted." He walked out the door. Sam was fuming. 

"What the hell is the matter with you?" Dean ignored him and picked up a knife. Sam marched over to him and pushed his shoulder so Dean was facing him. 

"If I said something like that about Cas, you'd have punched me into next week." Dean dipped the knife in the blood, ignoring him Then laid it over the bucket to drip dry. 

"Cas isn't Gabriel." He turned and walked across the room. 

"No, you don't get to do this. You know how close I am to Gabe now! Like it or not, he's sticking around. So you better get use to it." He grabbed the knife Dean had prepared and slammed the door on his way out. Dean got up quietly and started dipping two more knifes. 

"I think we need to talk Dean." 

"I'm not doing this right now Cas." 

"Fine, then I'll talk. I've noticed a change in your behavior lately, and it's not a positive one. I hate to say this but I'm on Sam's side with this. That was unnecessary and hurtful; Gabriel is my brother, one of my closest. I've never seen him walk away when he could fly; you really hurt him. I understand you don't do 'chick-flick moments' but if something is bothering you this badly, you need to figure out a way to fix it." I turned to take a blade and leave when Dean called my name.

"Cas, stop. I'm not good with this shit, and I know I've been acting crappy. I just..." His voice faded off.

"You just what Dean?" I kept my voice soft and went to sit next to him. 

"It started when it clicked that Sam and Gabriel might actually have something between them."

"And that upsets you?" 

"No, it just- I'm jealous, okay? I'm jealous." 

"Jealous of what exactly?" I coaxed.

"I don't know, I guess, they could have something I can't."

"You think you can't have love?" My stomach sunk. I've never told Dean about my love for him, I would happily shout it from the rooftops, but I have a male vessel. I couldn't love Dean the way he wanted.

"I know I can't have love; not the love I want anyway." He stood up. 

"What kind of love do you want Dean?" I followed him. 

"Forget it, thanks for the talk. I'll apologize to Gabriel next time I see him." He walked out the door. 

 

~<3~

 

I rode up front again, Sam was already in the back when we came outside. They didn't say anything to each other, which was to be expected. As soon as Dean apologizes Sam would forgive him. 

The preservation building was empty when we arrived. It was just after 6 o'clock. Dean started in one direction and Sam in another; splitting up it is then. I started my tracking between the direction of the two brothers, following the clumps of brown goo. The trees were beautiful, and when the hunt was finished I thought about coming back just to enjoy the view; maybe even find a bee's nest. 

About half an hour had passed when Sam's voice rang out to my left. I ran at full speed clutching my blade at my side. When I found him the creature almost had him pinned on the ground. Before I could even move Dean had dove at it pushing it off Sam and causing him to drop his weapon. I was quick to jump in but I had no clear shot, I couldn't risk hurting Dean. After a short moment Dean had kicked her off and I scratched the creature up the arm at the same time she dug her claws into my chest. 

"Nooo!" Dean's voice called out. After an ear piercing howl she disappeared into the trees as I fell. The next thing I saw was Gabriel standing over me, healing my chest. Dean was holding me almost in his lap. 

"There wasn't any pain." My voice was weak and low. 

"What do you mean?" Dean was the only one who heard me. 

"She scratched me, but there wasn't any physical pain. It was a rush of sadness." Dean helped me up and the forrest disappeared. I was standing outside the barn we had trapped Cain in. Dean stood in front of me, the first blade in his hand. I was terrified of losing him. He had on that mask he wears when he doesn't want anyone to worry about him; I can see right through it. He started to walk away and I tried to call after him, but I couldn't. I was stuck in an unwilling, unmoving body. 

"Cas? You alright?" Dean had me by the shoulders, his face right in front of me. I looked at his arm, the mark was gone. 

"I wasn't here." It didn't even make since to me but it was all I could get out. They started leading me to the car.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked. 

"Dean was about to fight Cain. I was frozen; petrified." They helped me into the back seat and Dean sat next to me with Sam behind the wheel. My vision faded to black and then I was in the cage with Sam, Dean, and Lucifer. 

"Can you really beat him; then yes." Lucifer entered my vessel and pushed me aside. I let him, knowing how much it would hurt Dean; but I couldn't let Sam say yes. 

"Snap out if it, Cas." I was laying on the motel bed, Dean on his knees next to the bed. Sam and Gabe weren't far away. 

"I'm me, I promise I'm me." The next wave hit. I remember the resets, when Lucifer controlled me. I'd hear something that woke me up, I'd tried to fight, but he had total control. It's like he reset me, scrubbed my memory and I became compliant again. 

"Castiel show yourself." It was Dean, I was standing in a ring of holy oil fire. I pushed towards the surface, Lucifer pulled me back.

"Cas!" Dean's voice hit me like a blow to the chest with a spiked, metal baseball bat.

"Cas!" Lucifer mocked Dean's desperate attempts to reach me. I was powerless, then reset. The memories stopped. 

"I'm here Dean! It's me!" I looked up and saw Dean's face. He was crying. I lifted my hand to his face to wipe the tears. 

"Don't cry Dean. I'm here, it's me. The darkness sent him away. I'm me again." He took my hands in his and held them tightly. More tears started to fall and I went to wipe them, but he held my hands firm in his. 

"It's going to be okay Cas." I looked over his shoulder and saw Sam starting a spell. Then an odd feeling washed over me. I was sleepy, it felt good so I gave into it. 

"I'll be back Dean. I'll find you." I closed my eyes.


	9. Gabe

I flew back in, bucket of blood in hand. I didn't aim to land behind Dean, but since I did, I let out a playful joke. 

"Sam can you put a mussle on him or something." I had to steady myself or I would've spilled the blood. I hadn't meant to set him off like that. I actually thought that that joke was in good taste. I set the blood down and dismissed myself, not even feeling up to flying. I closed the door quietly behind me. I had needed an excuse to leave before they left, but I'd have picked almost anything other then this. 

I really had been trying. I took all of Sam's advice, I spent less time teasing Dean and singling him out. I flew to the forest to wait. This wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to have a good time with Sam and bring our brothers closer together. I didn't have the heart to look at Sam before I left. It's only make me feel worse. I wanted to run into Sam's arms, knowing he'd wrap me up into a protective hug; but that's not how this story goes. This is Dean and Cas' story. 

I don't hate Dean, at least not anymore. I wasn't exactly looking for his approval, but the last thing I want is to come between my moose and his brother. I saw the car and flew up to watch, if I wanted to go lower like before then I'd switch on my nifty light bending trick; basically I become invisible. I followed Sam until he was far enough away from the others, before I landed in front of him. He grabbed me right away and pulled me into a deep hug. His head rested on mine and my head was curled up under his neck. 

"I'm sorry Sam." He used one of his large hands to cover my mouth as he shook his head. 

"Don't apologize for something you didn't do. Dean went off on you; you didn't deserve that." I snuggled back into the hug and the hand that was on my mouth moved to the back of my head to pet my hair. As much as I hated to pull away we were on a timeline and there was work to be done. 

"We need to talk details about the level of emotion we are dealing with." I sighed. I'd honestly had enough emotions for today, but I sucked it up. 

"It needs to feel real. I'm taking responsibility for this part. Of course, I don't want it to be anywhere near as bad as the real thing; but don't pull all of the punches. Speaking of, no physical pain. No need for extra trama." I listened carefully as he spoke. 

"And we agreed that I'm scratching Cas?" He nodded. 

"I was hoping you could make it look worse then it felt." 

"Can do Samquatch." There's that amazing smile. I snapped into my new role, and did a quick, sassy spin. 

"Very convincing. You ready?" I smiled wide and snapped again. Sam looked decently roughed up, not make up, all real, but with no pain. He looked himself over and smiled before letting out a cry that sounded like he'd just been hit.

"I jumped on him and we started to lightly wrestle until we heard near by running. Then I kicked it up a notch, still being careful to not hurt Sam. Out of nowhere Dean tacked me, both of us flying across the ground. I swiped his blade away and tried to pin him against a tree. He had me by the wrists and I made sure to keep him between Cas and I. He used his leg to kick my knee out; I went down reaching for Cas. I was aiming for his arm but he sliced me deep and I missed my mark; my claws digging deep into his chest. I let out a cry and ran out of sight fast. I had to come back as me, to fix Cassie up. There wouldn't be any pain from the hit, but it was real none the less. Quickly changing form I flew in, putting myself between Dean and my brother. He had rushed to Cas' side, but I needed to heal him. 

Dean fling himself to the ground and pulled Cas in his lap. Sam ran and stood next to me, he had agreed on this, but I'm almost sure he wished he had asked me to dial it back more. Cas came to and started to talk to Dean in a low voice. 

"Let's get him back to the motel." I suggested and he started to pull Cas to his feet. I couldn't hear what my brother was saying but I could tell was hitting Dean hard. We hurried to the car, Dean tossed Sam the keys, and Sam drove like a bat out of hell. I reduced the traffic for us and helped get Cas into bed. He was mumbling about being himself as I started over to the table pulling Sam alone. 

"I'll be right back." I said before flying away. I needed some ingredients for a spell. I can create almost anything, but ingredients for spells had to be real. I can't create the magic properties behind them. I was back in thirty seconds with an armfull of things. Sam realized what I was doing and turned to help me. 

"What's this for?" He spoke keeping his gaze fixed on our brothers. Cas was talking louder, kicking and almost screaming. 

"Sleeping spell." Most of my attention was on the work. A sleeping spell for a human was one thing, but one for an angel was quite a bit more difficult. I cut my hand allowing my blood to spill in the bowl, but didn't take the time to heal myself. Dean was hurting enough, and I knew Sam was regretting this. I spoke the incantation, and a soft gold mist floated over Cassie. He closed his eyes. 

"I'll be back Dean, I'll find you." His gossamer voice faded. Dean was crying, and not quietly. I carefully placed my hand on his shoulder.

"He won't remember any of this when he wakes up." 

"Thank you. I'm sorry Gabriel." I nodded and gently took Sam by the hand, leading him outside and shuting the door. 

"Remember you asked me to make it look a lot worse then it was." I was so scared that I had gone overboard. I didn't want to upset Sam. 

"I know, I just wasn't prepared for the reality of it all." I put my hand on his back and started to rub small circles. 

"We should go back inside." 

 

~<3~

 

Sam and I sat quietly at the table watching as Dean knelt beside Cas. The sun had set a few hours ago. Every time he shifted Dean grabbed his hand, and after the fifth time he didn't let go. Sam and I exchanged a few glances but didn't say a word. 

"We need to kill this son of a bitch." He stated eyes still locked on Cas. 

"Do you want us to take care of it?" Sam kept his voice soft.

"No, tomorrow you and I are going to gank this thing. I won't be able to sleep tonight, but I need you rested up." He turned to me, still holding tightly onto Cassie's hand. 

"I shouldn't have said what I did. I'm happy for you and Sam, It's about time he had someone like you in his life. I know I can trust you and that's what matters. Can you stay with Cas while Sam and I take care of this?" I nodded. 

"I will, and thank you, for trusting me, means a lot." And it did. Sam stood up, patted his brother lightly on the back and left for our room, as I followed closely behind. He sat on the edge of his bed and I took a seat next to him. I was torn on how to handle this, I wanted to pull him close to me, and hold him tightly; but that almost seemed selfish, because I didn't want to stop there. I wanted to cuddle him and kiss away the pain. I wanted to make him forget about all this, but my methods would definitely not be appropriate. 

"What do you need?" That felt right. I was thinking about reaching out for his hand but stopped when he started to speak. 

"Hold me." A soft smile crossed my lips as I pulled my moose back on the bed. I laid myself behind him and covered both of us up. I had never thought of myself as the big spoon, but I'd be what ever Sammy needed me to be. 

"When we were planning this, it felt like a game. We were writing a love story; full of emotion and heartfelt confessions of love. I didn't realize how painful it was actually going to be. I knew it'd take a hell of a lot for Dean to get over himself and admit he's in love with Cas. I'm just worried if we went too far, if we crossed a line, I wanted him to be able to shake this off and just be happy he could be with Cas." 

"Do you want to call it off?"

"Yes and no. It's killing me to see Dean this way, but I know it's still not enough. I feel like we need him to actually tell Cas before we can end it." 

"It's up to you Sammy; you're the artist, I'm your brush." 

"I guess we need to keep painting." His voice was soft and sleepy.

"I'll paint to the moon and back for you, kid." But Sam had already fallen into a deep sleep.


	10. Dean

Sam and Gabriel left and I continued to watch my angel. He was mumbling. I was sure I was the only one who could hear it. He'd began murmuring soon after he'd fallen asleep. I watched his eyes dart back and forth underneath his eye lids. His body would tense up.

"Don't cry Dean, I'll fix it. I'll scare the nightmares away. You'll be okay." He shifted and I tightened my grip on his hand. Screw this. I climbed up on the bed and pulled him as close to me as possible. We were chest to chest, his head resting in the crook of my neck.

"I'm here Dean, I can hear you. He won't let me through; I'll keep fighting for you Dean." I squeezed him tighter. I'd never let him go again. My beautiful angel, tears leaking from his closed eyes. I couldn't do a damn thing to help. I'm as useless as I've always been. 

"I won't kill him again. You can't make me kill Dean." Every phrase devastated me again and again, over and over. Each worse then the last; as soon as I thought it couldn't get worse it did. What hell had Cas gone through because of me? What didn't I know, what had he kept from me? 

"I'll never deserve you, Dean." My tears turned to silent sobs. Is this what really goes through your head? How do you stay so strong? God, Cas; is this what I do to you. How much pain have I brought you over the years? He continued to shift under my arms, and every so often he'd jump; scared of whatever torture his mind was under. 

Staying in his life would be selfish if me. Knowing how much pain I put him through; this whole experience, I just can't do this to him anymore. No matter how much it hurt my heart, no matter what it took, I had to give him up. But I had tonight; I had these moments. I could drag them out. Take in every breath of his sweet smell. I'll focus on the details; his delicate hair on my neck, his warm body beside mine, the soft sighs he's making between the painful words, I'll do all of this so I can remember him. After he's gone I'll remember this. Every night I'll fall asleep to this memory. It'll live in my heart; my most precious possession. 

I'd have this and the knowledge that I'd never hurt him again. That'd be enough; it had to be enough. I didn't let a single second go by in vain. I ran my fingers through his velvet hair, memorizing every strand. I traced his face lightly, first with my index finger, then with my thumb. The texture of the stubble on his jaw was the most exquisite sensation I've felt in my life. I'd never been this close to him and I'd never be this close again.

 

~<3~

 

The car ride was silent; Sam riding shot gun. When they knocked on the door to wake me for the hunt the life drained from my body. It was time to let Cas go. I placed my first and last kiss gently to his forehead, and pulled away. Every piece of my fragmented heart screamed as my fingers slipped away from my angel; but he wasn't mine anymore. 

We reached the forest and Sam pulled a bag from the back seat. 

"Last night Gabriel and I came up with an idea. Silver bullets, coated in the lambs blood." He handed me a pistol and a freshly dipped blade. I appreciated the effort they went to, but the only thing I could focus on was ganking this thing. 

"Let's stick together this time." I grunted a response picking a direction, Sam reluctantly walked behind me. I tracked the piles of shit until I came across some fresh foot prints. I held my arm up to stop Sam. He looked down and nodded. Side by side, gun in my hand and knife in Sam's we followed the tracks. The trees were starting to thin out and a small hunter's shack came into view. Up against a wall was a slender hole, burrowed into the earth. I looked to Sam and we both knew that we'd be waiting out here until it came back for the night. 

I went right, he went left and we concealed ourselves expertly. I had chosen a spot between a decently sized shrub and a tall tree. I fiddled with my gun, trying without scuess to keep my mind off Cas. 

There was a noise, footsteps pattering quickly. They stopped before she was in sight. I heard a strange growl, then the footsteps began once more. She strolled directly in front of Sam, and he lunged out landing a long gash down her leg. With a sharp scream she landed a blow to his head and Sam went down. I stood and fired several shots, all of which hit dead center. She curled over holding her chest, eyes darting between her nest's entrance and myself. She drove for it and I fired my remaining shots. I couldn't tell if I'd hit her or not. Sam was up now, blood dripping from his forehead. 

"You good?" I asked. 

"Yeah, we going to follow that thing?" I had already started to crawl down the dank hole. It dropped me into a long tunnel, the only light coming from the hole above. I pulled out my emergency flashlight as Sam dropped down beside me. There were three directions to choose from; this place was a whole lot larger then I expected. I looked to the floor and found the most worn path. I nudged Sammy and pointed the wear out. Blade in my right hand and flashlight in my left, I tiptoed carefully down the corridor. 

"Your angel friend is delicious, you know." The voice echoed; there was no way of knowing where it came from. 

"He'll be the last person you ever hurt." I wanted to keep her talking, if the volume of her voice changed we'd know if we were going the right direction.

"Everything from his sorrow to love is beautiful. I've never had angel before." Still no change. We came across another path. I followed the worm path to the left. 

"I should be thanking you Dean. That's your name right? The name always on his mind, the name he holds in his heart." The path starts to curve and there in the middle of a large, circular room stood the creature. Her head high and her claws bared. 

"I wonder if you'll taste as good." She hissed as she began to position herself, readying for a fight. I dropped my flashlight so we'd have some light to see by; I was more then ready to end this. I glanced quickly to Sam, his face calm and ready. We've done this a hundred times; one stab, quick and clean. Then why do I feel this way. Cas' life was on the line; this wasn't a normal fight, no matter how much I tried to convince myself. 

 

Sam lunged forward and she dodged to the left, giving me ample opportunity to strike. 

"You can't save him, you know." She caught my arm midair, and smiled at me. Her teeth shown bright through the dim light. With a quick twist I freed myself. "Yes I can!" Sam jumped her from behind. She twirled as the blade started to pierce her flesh; she knocked him off before it got deep enough. "Kill me, but I still win. I sunk my claws into him, our bond stronger then I've ever created. No matter how many times you you profess your love for him; you can't break our bond. There isn't a bond stronger then he and I-" I stabbed her in the heart; over and over and over, until Sam had to pull me off its corpse. "Dean, we have to go; now. You heard her, Cas is still fading; but we know what he needs." He was pulling me up when it hit me. "Our profound bond?" "Unless you have a better idea then yes." I was running to match his pace. ~<3~ I flung the door to the motel open and found Gabriel sitting next to Cas. He was pale; deathly pale. He moved quickly away and I Cas' eyes, weak, red, almost lifeless, but open. He's awake. Gabriel backed off and I rushed to the bed. "Cas, I love you. I've love you for years. I know I'm always saying we're family, and we are, but not in the way I want. I want you to be mine. I want to hold you, and bring you joy, and kiss you whenever I want. You are perfection, in every meaning of the world; beautiful inside and out. Every day you amaze me; your courage, your kindness, your strength, your ability to forgive. I love everything that you are." The color started to return to his cheeks. His breathes grew deeper. Sam and Gabriel had left the room at some point without me noticing. "Dean, I never knew." His gravelly voice almost normal. I knew I had broken her hold on him; I loved him more then anything and that had been enough. But this changed nothing, all the pain I brought him was still there; the damage still done. I won't drag him down with me. I stood to turn and he grabbed me by the hand, it felt like he was at full strength again. "Where are you going Dean?" This needed to be swift and clean. I can't draw this out. I'd had my goodbyes last night; hours of them. "Cas, I can't stay." I did everything I could to keep my voice from cracking. I tried to pull my hand away. "Dean please-" I turned swiftly around. "You have to let me go, I can't stand to bring you anymore pain. I'm no good Cas, I know how much you've suffered because of me. I won't bring you more pain, even if it means I lose you." I tore my hand from his grasp and bolted for the door. I grabbed the handle but before I could turn it he had me pinned against it, hand at my sides. "Dean Winchester, I'm not letting you walk out that door." I shoved at him, but he kept me firmly in place. "I can't do this Cas, I won't do this to you. Now let me go!" "No Dean- I'm never letting you go again." He crushed his lips on mine, begging, pleading for me. I couldn't fight it anymore. A heat grew from my core and bloomed out as I returned the kiss. He released my hands keeping me pressed to the door. "I'd go through it all again, a thousand times over, as long as it always ends like this." He mumbled into my mouth. I stripped the trench coat from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. He opened his mouth allowing my tongue to explore the sweet taste of him. My hands were in his hair, on his neck, under his shirt, anywhere I could reach. He ripped the clothes from my body and I let out a moan as his hands slid over my skin. Gripping each side of his shirt I pulled and buttons flew. There was no time for buttons. No time to waste, we had years worth of catching up to do. He flung me across the room and I fell back on the bed forcefully. I blinked and he was on top of me undoing my belt buckle. I started fumbling with his and in no time every article of clothing was gone; skin rubbing on skin, his hard cock pressed against my stomach. He kissed me again passionate and hungry. My hand slid down between us and I gripped him tightly slowly stroking his throbbing member. He shivered and moved his mouth down my jaw line, down my neck and then up behind my ear; nipping and sucking. "I want you, Dean." He growled, his voice deep and commanding as he slid his hands over my body. This was so different, I was always in charge, but damn if it wasn't sexy as hell not to be. I reached down to a bag sitting beside the bed and pulled out a tiny bottle of lube, just enough remaining at the bottom. He pulled it from my hand, and pushed me back down on the bed one handedly. Pouring as much of the lube as he could get into his hand, he ran it along his length and then brought what was left to my entrance. I was breathing hard, Cas had been so forceful but I trusted him. He started to rub my rim softly, slowly as I began to unclench. I felt one finger enter and took a deep breath biting my lip and closing my eyes. When I opened them I saw Cas' amazing blue eyes fixed on me. He slipped in another finger in with a grin and a shiver went up my spine as he curled them. My hips bucked up and he brought his other hand to the inside of my thigh. It was sweet, blissful torture as he lightly drug his nails up my skin, fingers pumping inside me, changing pace as soon as I got use to the new one. "I want you to beg for me, Dean." I whimpered at his request. He slowed his fingers and started to slip them out. "No please! Cas please, I want more." My voice was dripping with desperation. He pumped his fingers in adding a third. The hand that was resting on the side of my leg found it's way to my dripping, neglected cock. His touch lighter then a feather. I bucked up again and he pulled his hand away. "Cas please!" I panted. "Please what, Dean?" "Touch me, please Cas, touch me." I was a whimpering mess of desperation. "Is that all you want?" His grin was seductive and sexy as hell. "No, I want all of you, inside me." After pulling his fingers out he flipped me over and grabbed my hips pulling me onto all fores. He was going to take me from behind and the thought of that alone had me close to bursting. I felt the head of his cock rubbing against me. "Please, please, please, Cas!" He slid inside in one quick motion, going balls deep into my ass. He was so big, so warm, inside me. I dropped from my hands to my elbows, but he reached up and pulled me back by my neck. "I want you here." He slid his hand to my hair and gripped a handful before he started to thrust in and out. I new I wouldn't last long, but I never wanted this moment to end. He scratched his nails sharply down my back and that was it. I arched my back and thick ropes of cum shot onto the bed beneath me. With a few more thrusts I felt him fill me. My legs were shaking, I'd never experienced anything like this. He rolled over to the clean side of the bed pulling me on top of him. "I'll never leave you Dean, so please. Never leave me."


	11. Sam

This was it. The goal of our plan, it couldn't had gone better; but Dean would never speak to me again. I honestly don't know if it was worth it. Gabe's hand was on my shoulder and there was a warmth growing from inside me. He lowered his hand and I missed the contact immediately. I turned to face him. I had been waiting for him to make a move. You'd think that anybody that flirty would want to make the first move. 

Last night had set things clear in my mind. He liked me, enough to hold me through the night. I mean something to him. I know I do. 

"Gabe." He turned to look at me a sad smile on his lips. I couldn't find words and he took a step closer. 

"Are you alright Sam?" 

"I'm not sure yet. Have you thought of the repercussions this could have for you and Cas?" 

"A little, but Cassie will get over it. We use to fight a lot when we were younger, but in the end we know that we can count on each other." I watched his honey eyes sparkle as he talked about his brother. He's been so open, every day he opens up more; sharing little peices od himself with me. 

"Do you ever think about having something like that?" This is happening, even if I have to pry it out if him. I can't just kiss him. He'd kiss back, but I wouldn't know the meaning behind it. He had to say something, anything, I just have to know this wasn't just a conquest; a hit it and quit it. If he wanted to be with me, he'd have to say it.

"Doesn't everyone?" He shifted trying to maintain his 'I don't care' attitude. I let out a sigh and went to sit on the bed. He followed sitting close, only a few inches between our legs. 

"What would you do if you found it, a love like that?" He seemed surprised by the question; good. Maybe he'd be more open if he was put on the spot. It's difficult being cocky and coy all the time, it takes effort. If I keep the questions coming he'll have to tell me how he feels eventually.

"It takes a long time to fall that deeply for someone. They've been pining for each other for years." He was looking at the floor, hands twisted in his lap.

"But what if you thought you could have something like that? Would you go after it? Admit to her how you feel." I had to up my prying. If he wanted to play hard ball so would I. 

"If I thought they liked me in the same way." He stressed the word 'they.' 

"Have you had a serious relationship before Gabe?" 

"Samsquatch, what's with the twenty questions?" He sighed. 

"I just need to know Gabe. You've been holding back, we both know what this is, I just need you to say it." I couldn't stop myself. I turned to him taking his hands in mine. He was looking into my eyes, I could see he's scared. I'm scared. 

"I don't know what you want me to say Sam, that I like you, I have feelings for you. That I melt when you call me Gabe and my heart sings when I hear you laugh. That I'm a better person when I'm around you, because you've helped me open up and be venerable. That I don't have to hide who I am around you. That for the first time in my whole existence I'm experiencing new feelings, that only started when I got to know you. That this is real and scary and-" I took his head between my hands and gently pressed our lips together. He stopped talking and deepened the kiss. It wasn't frantic or rushed. I pulled him up on my lap so he straddled me, his hands playing with my hair, my hands running up his back to pull him closer. 

I wanted more of him, all of him. I started stripping his shirt off and he stopped me.

"We don't have to, Sammy. We can go slow, I'd be just as happy doing this." I lifted my palm to his cheek, smiled gently and then stood up, placing my hands under his ass as he gripped me tightly with his legs. 

"I want to, besides I think I owe you a strip tease." I set him down on one of the wooden chairs by the table. His eyes went wide with excitement. I took my jacket off slowly pulling each arm out on its own. I let it fall as I started undoing my buttons keeping my eyes on him. His hands were gripping the seat tightly; I was driving him crazy. An idea struck me. I undid my belt buckle, folded it over and snapped it loudly. I could see the outline of his cock in his pants. I closed the space between us and pulled his hands behind the chair. He realized what I was doing and let out a grown. When I had my belt tightly around his wrists I sat on his knee and ran my hands down his body until I reached the button and zipper of his jeans.

"I think this might make things more comfortable." After undoing them I slid his pants off, leaving him in just a pair of navy boxer breefs. 

"Aren't you supposed to be stripping?" He mused the question, slowly, tasting every symbol. 

"You're not use to waiting, we'll work on that." I stood up and pulled my undershirt over my head, my slim, muscular stomach now visible. Gabe was squirming in his set; of course he could easily get out, but he went with it. I got close and turned around hooking my thumbs in the back of my jeans. I slid them out and started to feel myself up swaying in front of him. His eyes were glued to my ass. After pulling my pants down, painfuly slowly, I sat down on his length and grinded up against him. He leaned forward so his chest was pressed to my back and bit at my neck. I only let him get one in before pulling away. 

"Sam unite me." It was a question. I bit my lip thinking it over. After a short moment I pulled the belt off and he was up pushing me to the bed. He sat me down and knelt between my legs smiling up at me. My heart racing. He palmed at my crotch before sliding my boxers down. My cock sprung up, precum leaking from my slit. He kicked his way up my thigh, over my balls, taking each one into his mouth gently before moving on. Then his tongue was at the base of my length, pressed flat and warm. In one swift motion he licked up to the top and then swallowed all the way down.

I bucked my hips and an evil grin came across his face. He played with me in his mouth, swiping his tongue left and right before pulling off with a sinful pop. He climbed up onto the bed and laid down on his back. 

"I want you to fuck my throat." I was confused at first until he guided me over him, my crotch aligned with him mouth.

"Are you sure?" 

"Oh yes." I lowered myself into his wet hole and he wrapped his lips tightly around me. I started to thrust down feeling his jaw opening wide, it was fucking amazing. He was so wet and worm and the sight of him taking my cock, every inch, was fucking beautiful. 

He grabbed my hips trying to speed up my pace. I happily obliged. I came deep in his throat and he closed his lips sucking every drop he could get. I moved over and collapsed. He snapped, a bottle of lube appearing in his hand. He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"I'll try anything once." He flipped me over and started to open me with slick fingers. It was strange but not in a bad way.

"I'm glad I get to be your first." He purred. Once he thought I was ready he placed the tip of himself at my entrance and looked up at me, almost to ask permission. I nodded my head and there was a slight burn, but what came after was worth it. He slowly rocked his hips into me and a whole new pleasure flowed through my body. A long, low moan came from deep in my throat and I could tell it excited him by the way he changed pace. I tried to make more noise, not forcing or faking but I allowed myself to grunt and grown. 

He threw one of my legs up over his shoulder and the new angle sent a wave of intense pleasure through my body. I shivered and he came inside me, filling me with his thick, hot seed. 

"We are definitely doing that again." He laughed falling onto my chest. 

 

~<3~

 

Dean and Cas stood side by side, holding hands and facing Gabe and I. It was the next day and we were in their motel room. 

"Dean, there's something I need to tell you." He smiled over at me. This would be the last smile I see that smile for a long time, maybe forever. 

"What's up Sammy?" I turned to Gabe who snapped his fingers. The world melted away, fading into the war room of the bunker. Confusion wiped the smile from his face. 

"There wasn't actually a case, Dean. Gabe and I- well mostly I planed this out to get you can Cas together. You were both miserable; and you couldn't see it. You'd never admit it, unless it was bad; life threatening bad, but I didn't want it to come to that, and if it did, it'd be too late. I let it go too far. Once it was started though, I couldn't stop. It would've been for nothing." He slammed his fist into my jaw knocking me down. Gabriel was about to do something stupid when I held up my hand to warn him. Dean went crazy throwing anything he could lift, knocking things down. Cas just stood and watched. Once Dean had had his fit there was silence, until Castiel walked up to me. I was expecting another blow, I steeled myself for it, but he reached out tenderly and pulled me into a hug. 

"Thank you, Sam." He held me a few seconds more before pulling away. 

"Thank you, are you fucking kidding me Cas?" He turn to face Dean. 

"Sam was right. You thought I was dying. If it wasn't for that you wouldn't have said it. You wouldn't be mine, and I wouldn't be yours." I could see Dean's breath slowing. His posture began to return to normal. Cas went to him and placed a light kiss on his lips. 

"Sam brought you to me, he allowed me to be your angel. You don't have to thank him, but if you can find it in your heart to forgive him, I wish you would." He rested their foreheads together, tangling their fingers between them. Dean pulled away and ambled over to me. 

"I'm no where close to okay with what you've did, but I understand why you did it. We'll be alright, just give me some time." Gabe took a few steps to stand beside me. 

"I'm sorry too, it's not all Sam's fault." He took my hand squeezing it. Both of them noticed and Dean had the slightest hint of a grin on his face. 

"I guess you'll be sticking around then?" Dean huffed. 

"As long as Sam'll have me." He leaned into my side and batted his eyelashes up at me. 

"You know I'll have to kill you if you hurt him right?" 

"That's a chance I'm willing to take, Dean-o."


End file.
